Dr. Janolyn Moore, PhD, ChT
hypno imagery journeys*DEMO* Sample the "dissolving stress and tension" CD:Are you or someone you love "stressed out"? Learn how to permanently dissolve stress and tension with this 4 CD set from Hypno-Imagery Journeys. Performed by Mind/Body Health expert, Dr. Janolyn Moore (read more about Dr. Janolyn Moore, PhD) with original music by Phil Nelson, these CDs are based on the scientific fact that it takes 21 days to change a habit - that is, if you can consistently behave, think, or act in a new way for 3 weeks, you are well on your way to letting go of old, unproductive and debilitating habits that can harm your health and create chaos in your life.
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 In this area of the website, you may choose to have a few quiet moments of meditation or prayer. We have provided you with some images from Northern Arizona, which is celebrated for its beauty and spiritual energy. The majesty of the red rock mountains and the grandeur of the sweeping plains draws many spiritual pilgrims to its tranquility and peace. The music that accompanies the changing pictures was composed by Phil Nelson, who has devoted a lifetime to the exploration of sounds in music and recording. You will hear a haunting introduction to the music. It was created using a crystal Tibetan temple bowl, and what sounds like voices are actually the layered vibrations of the sounds of the bowl as it is played with a wooden wand drawn along the outer rim of the bowl. The music was inspred by the waves of energy that emanate from the hills in and around the village of Sedona, and we invite you to allow the music and images to assist you in your period of meditation. When you click the arrow to begin, at first the next screen will be mostly black, as the striking of the bowl calls you to meditation and prayer... Begin your meditation...
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Golden Energy is expanding and offering services at The White Orchid; an oceanfront Inn and Spa, located in Flagler Beach, Florida.Audio recording and production services provided by Phil Nelson / 25th Recording. Website design by Webcraft Wizard. EMAIL CONTACT
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Dr. Janolyn Moore, PhD, ChT BiographyBefore leaving the West Coast for the sunny shores of Florida, Dr. Janolyn Moore served over 20 years as owner and co-director of the Golden Branch Wellness Center in Woodland Hills, California. Her Golden Energy technique of healing grew from her interest and years of research of mind/body correlations to disease and healing. The result, Golden Energy, accomplishes all of the aspects needed to promote a total holistic healing experience. Subtle energy work combined with psychology, imagery, and hypnotherapy assist in removing physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual blocks to the healing process. Her approach enables her patients to experience better health and well-being, increased success in all aspects of life, and to experience better and more fulfilling relationships.Dr. Moore's integrative practice augments traditional Western medicine and psychological approaches to accelerate the healing process. It helps improve the quality of life for those who experience physical illness, chronic pain, or emotional or mental problems. Dr. Moore served as a staff member of Northridge Hospital Medical Center in California for 10 years. She facilitated group psychological counseling for both the in-patient and out-patient Behavioral Health unit. She served as a member of the hospital's Integrative Medicine team and taught classes in hypnosis, guided imagery, mind/body heath, and a holistic approach to managing menopause for the Healing Arts program. As well, she facilitated cancer support groups and provided counseling for patients in the Oncology unit. In 2004, Dr. Moore was voted best hypnosis professional for the greater Los Angeles area by the readers of the Los Angeles Daily News. Dr. Moore is an accomplished teacher, published writer, public speaker and seminar leader. She has taught her holistic approach to healing to medical and mental health practitioners throughout the country. Dr. Moore's clientele extends throughout North America and Europe. As well as combined energy sessions, she offers integrative mind/body counseling, hypno-imagery, and expressive arts therapy. Phone sessions are available and very popular. Each session is 1/12 to 2 hours in length and is recorded in either an MP3 or CD format for the patient so that they may continue to experience the benefits of the session at any time. Dr. Moore holds an MA in clinical psychology from Antioch University in Santa Barbara, CA and a PhD in Clinical Psychology, with an emphasis in Depth Psychology, from Pacifica Graduate Institute, in Carpinteria, California. Additionally, she holds a BA and MA in speech communications. She is a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and studied Oriental medicine at Samra University in a Los Angeles, CA for 4 years.
Dr. Moore is available for private sessions, public speaking engagements, or seminars. To contact her for more information or to request a session, please use the email request form found on the Golden Energy web site.
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Making Peace with Yourself "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Do not be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Do not let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." Steve Jobs A colleague of mine posted this eloquent and popular quote on Facebook. It is wonderful advice spoken by a man who knew his earthly experience was nearing a close. Jobs was making peace with himself and leaving a loving legacy to society in his final curtain of life. I read the post right before I went to sleep so I am sure it made its way directly into my unconscious mind and began to reprogram my thoughts. I woke up twice that night--both times thinking about the quote and the many times I have let other's opinions, thoughts, and beliefs dictate my future. Of course, I started to berate myself for giving away my personal powers to the "well meaning" others. The old, inner self-negating questions jumped at the chance to remind me of my life's mistakes and all the missed opportunities if only I had approached my life from a place of inner-strength and knowing instead of a place of uncertainty. If only I had not diluted my personal power by wanting to be "everything to everybody". I know I am not alone in replaying the dramas of the past. Going against our gut instincts, we have all entered into joint ventures with friends, family members, business associates, and self-proclaimed experts only to regret the decision later. So, why do we do it? We all have a built in radar--intuition, and if we listen, it guides us in the right direction. Likewise, mind/body theory tells us that this guidance comes from the part of our brain that always knows the right answers--the higher self. Maybe it is part of our karmic plan; the lessons we chose to learn in this go-round of life. Maybe it is a way to make life difficult for ourselves because we do not think we deserve to have an easy life; a form of self-flagellation that we use as punishment whenever we feel that we do not measure up to society's standards. Maybe we follow the lead of others because we just want to be liked by them. We calculate that if we play up the similarities between 'them' and 'us' that it will magically transform into a friendship, relationship, or acceptance by the 'in' crowd. Alternatively, perhaps we are just afraid to step outside of the confines of our family expectations for fear of losing their love. Following our inner guidance is not new. As far back as the 1500s, Shakespeare reminds us of that very fact in his play "Hamlet". One of the most outstanding lines from this play is, "To thine own self be true". This maxim was one of the self-righteous philosophies that Polonius offered to his son Laertes, prior to Laertes departure to France. Obviously, this line has meaning as it is still in use today and mimicked in other semantic phrases such as, "Follow your bliss" and "March to the beat of your own drummer". As well, countless New Age and success books remind us of that very fact. Two that come to mind are Marsha Sinetar's "Do what you love, the money will follow", and Terry Cole-Whitaker's "What you think of me is none of my business". Both recommend that we listen to the voice within and follow our own path--regardless of what "the critics" may think. Many factors are at work here. Our egos beg to be satisfied. Sometimes satisfying the ego means that we give up our personal truth in order to be worthy of acceptance by others who simply perceive life in a different way than we do. On most occasions we give in to the ego and like Andy Warhol's 15-minutes of fame example, we feel great for a short duration of time. However, when the excitement dims and life returns to normal, we begin questioning our decision. We may be left behind or hurt by the very 'others' we wanted to please. We compromised our inner knowing; our personal power and now instead of the anticipated reward, we feel hurt and rejected. On most occasions, the hurt is not resolvable so it festers and grows into anger--anger at the 'others' and anger at ourselves for being duped into thinking that we were on the wrong personal path. The truth is that life itself is a long lesson that continues to be morphed and refined many times over. When we are young, we follow the advice of our parental role models. When we reach our teens and twenties we begin to question what we have learned. We rebel and have temper tantrums. Our peers replace our parents as the gods of knowledge. Eventually, in mature adulthood we keep the teachings of family and friends that work for us and throw away the rest. Hopefully, we also let go of the anger and resentment we feel when we first discover that our parents are not perfect--and neither are our friends.) I believe that (in most cases) the older we get, the easier it is to follow our own guidance. We begin to take unsolicited advice with a 'grain of salt' or a 'thank you for sharing'. Whether it is truly wisdom or overt stubbornness, we do more of what we want to do and less of what 'they' want us to do. It is easier to find and listen to our inner guidance. However, our spiritual being is still pushing through the illusion of the human condition so we continue to replay our life moments--all that are good, more of what we consider bad, and those that are neutral. Life is about perceptions. Unless we are purposely trying to harm a living being (which is just plain wrong) it is our perception of the event or the behavior that causes our mental angst--not the event or the behavior itself. We know that our memories are not exact. Memories are plastic and over time, they morph, change, and re-arrange themselves. As an example: How many times have you re-read a passage from a book, or re-read old letters from friends or family members only to discover that the perception or 'meaning' you originally attached to what you read has shifted or changed? In most cases, when we are able to release the emotional attachment to whatever decision, behavior, or action we followed it becomes less of a big deal and we see it for what it truly is--a moment in time--a day in the life. We cannot change the past. It is what it is and always will be. The only 'time' we really have is this very nano-second. In another second, that time will be part of our history. And yes, I know that our 'future' depends on how we embrace those nano-seconds; however--knowing that life is a long learning lesson--maybe it is time to stop berating ourselves and begin respecting and loving ourselves for surviving all of our battles. Making peace with yourself means giving yourself the gift of forgiveness. Making peace with yourself means loving who you are while continuing to move toward the person you strive to become. Making peace with yourself means letting go of what no longer works for you and listening to your inner voice for a new set of directions. Making peace with yourself means having the courage to find your personal truth and live it in all aspects of your life. Steve Jobs knew this--and he was at peace. © Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
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Are You Doing Life, or Are You Doing Life? It all depends where you place the emphasis on the words to grasp the meaning of this repeated title. Ask yourself--are you both the prisoner and the jailer of your days? Or, do you allow yourself the freedom to consciously design and live your life to your ideal expectations? I do not know if you have thought about your life in those terms, but there is a very fine line between self-imprisonment and freedom. Sometimes, just doing one thing different or reframing a thought about a situation can make a huge impact for the better in your life. Another way of phrasing this would be to ask if you are the ‘cause and effect’ of your daily activities, or do you continue in your same old routine--not really feeling happy--perhaps feeling miserable--but for certain, feeling incapable of making any positive shifts or adjustments. If your answer is the latter--by default, you are still the cause and effect of your experiences; it is just not cause and effect in a good way. Just as ‘deciding not to make a decision’ is a decision in itself, taking no action, or repeating the same harmful action is really an action in and of itself. Maybe it helps your understanding to think about it in the terms of this old adage: "If you always do what you always did--you’ll always get what you always got". On many occasions, the way we live life gets in the way of our experience and enjoyment of life we long to live. Psychology tells us that the unconscious mind controls 90-95% of our behaviors and thoughts. We are captives of our past and at times, we may find it impossible to move beyond the old tapes that are continuously recycling in our unconscious mind. We are stuck--we are fearful--we are lazy. We may consciously despise the situation we are in, but feel powerless to change it; and then we berate ourselves for not having the self-discipline to make the change that in turn, would create a shift in our life experience. We become our own worst enemy--the perpetrator and the victim of our personal human condition. Wow! What a way to live. It sounds like a death sentence, doesn’t it? Okay--I apologize for that paragraph of negativity. However, I wanted to grab your attention. The reason I wanted your attention is because we all share, in one form or another, this problem. None of us is immune to the devastating tapes trapped in our unconscious mind--but the good news is that we can learn to ignore those tapes, move past the fears, overcome the ambivalence or laziness, and CHANGE. Here is a quick overview of why old habits and patterns keep coming back and how to move beyond the harmful past behavior and into the positive present. The unconscious (John Bradshaw referred to it as the inner child) has a stake in maintaining the past. Scientifically, we know that all parts of our body strive for balance (homeostasis). Mind and body constantly adjust themselves to our life script to find that balance. New thoughts or new behaviors mean more work for all parts of our existence and that means temporarily moving out of our comfort zone, and into temporary insecurity. The unconscious (like a small child) does not like to feel insecure or uncomfortable, so it makes its demands to live as it has always lived and to continue replaying its old tapes or reciting its old scripts. It throws an internal temper tantrum and creates what appear to be very good rationalizations for procrastination, or even complete abandonment of the change we want to make. However, the rationalizations are like the magician’s smoke and mirrors; they are only temporary illusions created by the unconscious to keep homeostasis in our mind and in our life. Once the illusions fade, we once again face the frustration of repeating the harmful thoughts and actions that keep us in the bondage of the past. What do we do? The unconscious is a powerful foe. Throughout its years of living inside of us, it develops tactics that cause self-sabotage in the best of us. We have all tried affirmations and New Year’s resolutions, but they begin to fade and lose their appeal after a week or two. Most of us just do not have the self-discipline to make them a new habit. The unconscious saboteur presents its array of rationalizations; our good intentions end; and we say to ourselves "I just can’t do it" or "It’s just not meant to be". We buy into the trickery of the unconscious mind and our life returns to the way it has always been. However, what would happen if we could get over that one or two-week hump and carry out our new behaviors, thoughts, or beliefs for just one more week? What would happen if we could stay conscious and disciplined for 21-days (three weeks) instead of one or two weeks? Three weeks--21 days--of self-discipline seems to be the magic number for creating lasting positive change in our life. Research, first presented in the book Psycho-Cybernetics (Maltz, 1960 and 2001) tells us that it takes about 21 days to initiate change within the human psyche and within the cellular memory-banks of mind/body. This means that if you want to change your lifestyle or eliminate a bad habit, and you consistently behave, think, or react in a new way for a period of three weeks, you will be well on your way to creating new life-paths of health, happiness, or well-being. Since 1960 many health, psychological, hypnosis, business, and military programs have built their successful formats around that 21-day rule. My own CD series, Hypno-imagery Journeys uses this same 3-week protocol. 3 weeks does not seem like a long period of time when we talk about it in generalities, however, when we commit to discipline and consistency for a 3-week period, it can seem like an eternity. Not only are we fighting a battle for change, we are also waging a war with our unconscious. We need to be smarter and more disciplined than our unconscious saboteur is. Here are 5 tips to help you survive that initial 3-week period.
Whatever it is--if you are cognizant of the problem, you have the ability to change it. Give yourself the gift of the "get out of jail" card. Start "doing" and LIVING your life instead of doing and living a life sentence of unwanted patterns of repetition. © Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
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Can We Talk??? A long time before I decided to enter the field of psychology I spent my week-ends delivering speeches and debating both sides of the national debate topic at speech tournaments. In high school I was a "Ruby" member of the NFL--no, not the National Football League, but rather, the National Forensic League--an organization committed to preserving the art of good public speaking and critical thinking. I won many trophies and the honor of attending state championships. I continued my pursuit of competitive speech and debate in college and beyond--my first BA and MA were in speech communications, with minors in drama and music. I’ve studied the etymology of words, read S.I. Hywakawa’s books on semantics, and taken courses in inter-cultural communications. I know my speech training and love of communication through the spoken word has served as a tremendous asset to my counseling practice. To me, what we say and how we say it--in person--is still the best way for the human race to understand one another. Speaking with one another not only involves the spoken word, but also the non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication or "Body Language" always reinforces or negates what we are saying. A few weeks ago my husband and I were having dinner with a group of friends that included people in their 20s. One of the young girls remarked that it’s hard for her to talk to people over the phone or in person. She added that she is a whiz at texting, tweeting, and Face Book posts--but in one-on-one situations she feels shy and withdrawn. To me, this was a confirmation of a developing phenomenon I’ve noticed in the last few years. It seems that our leaps and bounds in technological advancement have depleted our ability to have real conversations with our friends and family members. It seems that it is much easier for people to send off an email, or a text filled with abbreviations and misspelled words than it is to pick up the phone (cell, or otherwise) and say "Hello", let alone just drop by for a visit to say "Hi". Are we too lazy to speak? Or, could it be that it is so much easier to hide behind a text, a tweet, an email, or a post? Our voice can reveal volumes about who we are and how we are feeling; as can our body. When we speak face –to-face, we also add the element of non-verbal communication--body language. If we are skilled communicators and mindful of what we are doing, it is possible to control our facial expressions and even our vocal quality; but it is much harder to control our body movements. The smallest "fidget" or foot-tapping can blow our cover. In my business I’ve seen younger couples who actually fight with their text messages or posts on Face Book instead of sitting down in person to share their feelings and work out their differences. From time to time I interact with business people who refuse to return phone calls. If it can’t be said in an email or a text, than the question or request goes unanswered. I do like my computers and my cell phone; they are both convenient and save time (if you know how to use them correctly). And of course, without at computer I wouldn't be able to post my web site over the internet. However, I feel that technology is the death card for person–to-person communication . The art of communication is fast becoming a lost art. An important law of biology is that every species creates itself into extinction. When I think of that law, I can’t help but wonder if technology isn’t our way of creating our own demise--not just communication, but in all aspects of the human condition. We already have the technology to create robots that can clean our houses and bring us small items that we might need. But (a far- fetched scenario, I know) what if a human, or another robot for that matter pushes a wrong button, or gives a bad command. The ramifications of such an act are too frightening for this blog. Maybe my age is showing, but I feel there is something to be said for the pre-computer and pre-cell-phone days. I’m lucky enough to have witnessed the growth of communication technology from the identifying 3-longs and 2-short rings on the party line phone of my grand-parents to the 4-G (whatever that means) cell phones of today. Today’s conveniences are wonderful but I miss the long conversations I used to have with my friends. Sometimes, its’ nice to turn off all of life’s conveniences and just spend time with a person or persons and engage in some old-fashioned, soul-searching conversation. Speaking to one another creates understanding and bonding. It brings us closer together as humans and helps us identify the ways in which we are alike--the human condition. In this age of technology, let’s not forget that we are special human beings endowed with the gift and talent to deliver meaningful, spoken words. Let’s re-visit the art of the spoken word and "real" conversation. © Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
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Why affirmations don't work
Unless you have been living under a rock on the dark side of the moon you have heard (from many sources) about the power of affirmations. No longer thought of as just a part of the New Age movement; affirmation training is included in some of the most logical of businesses--many of them are Fortune 500 companies. Many of my clients (and myself, for that matter) have created affirmations for the things they want to manifest in their life. For most of us our string of affirmations becomes a ritual. We may repeat them 2 or 3 times a day. We are full of hope that recitations of these affirmative words will magically transform our lives into one of perfection--a life that is filled with love, perfect health, wealth, peace--the list is endless. Usually, within 2 weeks time, we begin to tire of the ritual. We're not seeing the change, or at least not the results we wanted to see. Like a new year's resolution the affirmations fade into disappointment and we return to doing the "same old same old". From time to time we may revisit the affirmations in hopes that they will produce different results. But the only result we see or feel is one of frustration. So, what went wrong? Probably it's a combination of many things. But, the number one reason affirmations don't work is because internally, we don't believe they will work. Unless we honor and accept the long-held, unhealthy belief structure comprised of self-doubt, unworthiness or undeservingness, guilt, shame, victimization, etc. (the list is endless) in our unconscious mind, change is not possible. I'm not saying we should scrap our affirmations. What I am saying is that we need to give the internal voice of our old beliefs an opportunity to be heard. If we don't give it equal time to our affirmations to speak about its beliefs or fears, it will always come back to sabotage us and lead us back to old self-destructive behavior. You've probably heard the phrase: "If you always do what you always did; you'll always get what you always got." The unconscious always wants to lull us back to what's predictable and expected. We may not like the conditions in our life; but the conditions themselves become a pattern. The situation may change--but the way we handle the situation; the way we behave, usually defaults to our internal script. "The way you do one thing is the way you do everything." The truth is that affirmations DO work--but, the inner work--allowing the unconscious voice of the past to be heard--need to be done at the same time the affirmations are made. Let me explain. When you send positive thoughts and words in present time out to the universe for manifestation; give your unconscious mind time for rebuttal. As an example: Let's say your affirmation is that you have one million dollars in your bank account. You want to attract and manifest $1,000,000.00. After you've said your affirmation listen to the internal response. Maybe your first response is, "NO I don't." Say the affirmation again. Wait for the internal response (you may want to write down these responses). Your second response may be: "I wish--or, that would be nice." Say the affirmation again. Your third response might be, "Maybe someday." Say the affirmation again. Your fourth response might be, "I wonder if I could do that?" Keep repeating the affirmation and the internal response until there is agreement--until the inner response can say, "Yes, you do." It could take a few days for you to reach inner and outer agreement. It all depends on how deep-seated the destructive belief is in your unconscious mind. But, eventually you will reach agreement. Every time you honor your inner self--your unconscious being that harbors all of life's misconceptions--you diffuse its fear of change. You allow it to speak and more importantly, you listen. You allow it to be heard. Your unconscious self becomes a co-creator with you in changing destructive beliefs and behavior patterns to those that nurture your highest desire. It takes time, perseverance, and due diligence to do this for every affirmation, but in the end, the change is permanent and you find that your manifestation process becomes shorter. Your unconscious inner being stops sabotaging you and actually becomes your partner in changing destructive thoughts and behavior patterns. Remember, it takes 21 days to change a habit--that is 21 days of self-correcting and listening to the responses from your inner dialogue. After 21 days, the process becomes easier. The new belief and behavior begin to take root as your new habit--your new way of "doing life." Another technique that I like is one the Noah St. John describes in his book, The Secret Code of Success: 7 Secret Steps to More Wealth and Happiness (2009, Harper-Collins). I first read about St. John in one of my Early to Rise daily newsletters that I subscribe to over the web. St. John uses the word afformations instead of affirmations to describe his process. He claims that manifestation is a simpler process if the mind is engaged in the attraction process. To do this he asks a question and relies on the mind to find an answer. Once the mind discovers an answer or a solution to the question or problem, it can accept the answer or solution as a truth--in both the conscious and unconscious realms. The change of thought and behavior comes from the acceptance of the answer or solution. As an example: to manifest wealth St. John would have us ask the question, "Why am I so rich?" The mind immediately goes to work to find an answer and comes up with ideas, behaviors, and thoughts that are practiced by wealthy individuals. You could use the same premise to attract good health, love, peace of mind, happiness--anything that you wish to attract in your life that would change it for the better. Personally, I like to use a combination of both methods. The old beliefs need to be heard before they can morph into supportive, positive beliefs and the thinking mind needs to be involved in the process as well. By combining these methods we weave a rich tapestry that incorporates the gifts of both our conscious and unconscious self. The two "selves" can work together to produce positive change in your life. © Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
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Nothing Personal--but it's not about you Whenever we have an opportunity to connect to others--be it friends, acquaintances, business associates, or family members--we run the risk of having our feelings hurt. On hearing that statement you might be thinking that you are better off not interacting at all! Of course, that is not what I mean. I wanted to shock you; to get your attention for the purpose of reflecting on your daily communications with others. When we communicate with others we always have choices. First, we can choose to only hear them (but let our minds be focused on something else) or we can choose to listen to them; letting their words or actions impact us in some way. Another choice we can make is that of acknowledgement. Acknowledgements may be given out of politeness--both with hearing and listening. Our acknowledgement may be a negative or positive acknowledgement. We can choose to immediately accept what we hear or see, we can choose to think about the experience, or we can choose to let go of what we've experienced and go on with our day. But, what happens if we see or hear something that we perceive as an affront or a slight? Do we immediately become defensive and take it personally, or do we let it go? Taking things personally is usually the result of reading negative intent into the words or actions of others. It is also a form of negative narcissism; that means thinking that other's comments and behavior are always the result of a personal interaction with us. In most cases, what others do or say has little or nothing to do with us! Their words and actions are based on their experiences, perceptions or emotions--not ours! If we decide to take their remarks or actions personally we end up stressing and hurting ourselves. Continuing with the theme of narcissism, when we allow ourselves to feel stressed or hurt by the actions of others it then becomes, "All about us." If we are tempted to take a comment or action personally, putting some distance between ourselves and the other person can help us put things in the proper perspective. We need to try to determine what we're feeling--what's the emotion. If what was said or done is an opinion or a belief that is contrary to ours, it may be that we needed the other person to agree with us for the sake of validation. Perhaps the words or actions simply reinforced some deep-rooted insecurity within us. If we keep replaying the scenario over and over in our mind and really feel that the offensive behavior was intended as an insult; we may want to ask the other person for more clarification or understanding. We might try to imagine that we are the other person--putting ourselves n their shoes. Instead of taking what we heard or saw as an insult, remember that whatever was said or done is based on the other person's opinion and is indicative of what is going on inside their psyche. Again, it has nothing to do with US. Or, we simply may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their words or action may have been offered with no ill intentions. When we realize that what people say or do usually doesn't have anything to do with us, we can let go of feelings of hurt or attack. While it's easy to take things personally, we should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how we see ourselves or interfere with our worthiness or deservingness. Each life is personal to its owner, and it is up to us to influence our own value and sense of well-being. © Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
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It is Easier to Give Than to Receive When someone offers you an unexpected compliment or a gift (with no strings attached), how do you receive it? How we respond to a compliment or a gift, in any form, speaks volumes about how we view ourselves--our self-esteem--our worthiness or our deservingness. Let us begin with a simple compliment. When someone tells you how nice you look, or that they really like what you are wearing, do you make excuses for yourself or try to minimize the compliment in any way? Here is an example of what I mean: Friend: You look so nice today; I love your outfit--is it new? You: I really just threw myself together and the outfit is old--something I found in my closet. I am surprised I can still wear it. Now, I really like what you are wearing Your friend was sincere and giving you a gift by validating your appearance. You however, did not feel worthy of the validation and in essence, killed the compliment by making light of it and then rushing to find something to return the compliment to the friend. You could say that you stole the gift of giving away from your friend. When I worked in the outpatient behavioral health unit of a hospital, I did an exercise with my group to boost their self-esteem and to break the bad habit of killing the compliment. Their assignment (during their lunch break) was to tap other group members on the shoulder and say, "The beauty I see in you is . . . (fill in the blanks with a compliment). The recipient of the compliment says, "Thank you"--nothing more, nothing less. After a full hour of giving and receiving compliments, the group returned from lunch feeling good about themselves and each other. It is always easier for us to give rather than receive. Giving makes us feel good. It allows us to contribute, in some way, to the well-being of those individuals whom we like and love. Receiving, however is not so easy for most of us. We may feel embarrassed by the compliment, or feel unworthy of receiving a larger, unexpected gift. When we negate a gift--in any form, we deprive ourselves of the gift, but also deprive the gift giver of feeling good about making the decision to give to us! I am sure the majority of you reading this blog never considered the feelings of the "giver" in such a way. Here is another example on a much larger scale: Recently my husband (a very gifted web master, among other talents) offered the gift of a customized web site to someone who had helped us search for property before our move to the East coast. For many reasons, we decided to rent for a while instead of buying. Nevertheless, we still wanted to offer a gift as a way of saying ‘thank you’ for all his effort on our behalf. This man did not have a personalized web site. He was only included in his company web page. Imagine our surprise when he turned down the gift! His comment was, "Why would I want a personal web page?" Wow! We never saw that one coming! Now, as a psychologist, I could wonder if the man was being passive-aggressive because we did not buy a house from him; or I could take it personally and wonder if the gift was not what he considered equal to his services. However, my intuition tells me that is was just too hard for him to receive a service offered to him when he was the one that always offered his services to others, by shuttling clients from one property to another. In other words, he loved to give, and to be of service--but felt unworthy to receive. My husband and I felt hurt and a little rejected after the refusal. After all, it deprived us of giving back to someone we genuinely liked. The next time someone offers you a compliment or gift with no strings attached, just say thank you--maybe adding that you appreciate the gesture of kindness. Your chance to give back to some else will be right around the corner. © Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
© Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
Important News
Golden Energy is expanding and offering services at The White Orchid; an oceanfront Inn and Spa, located in Flagler Beach, Florida.
Dr. Moore is proud to announce that her Golden Energy services are now available at The White Orchid, in Flagler Beach, Florida.
The White Orchid is an oceanfront resort that immerses its guests in the art of living by offering understated luxury in a quiet retreat-like setting. The spa offers traditional spa amenities with the addition of heart-centered holistic healing services that focus on balancing body/mind/spirit for those who choose to vacation here and for those who reside in the community. Services provided by Dr. Moore at The White Orchid include: **Mind/Body/Soul (MBS) Thought Retraining©** This new and unique approach, conceived by Dr. Moore, engages the three most powerful parts that comprise a human being with the goal of assisting the client to move thoughts, focus, and self-talk from self-sabotage to manifesting a happy life - one that includes good health, a sense of well-being, and a positive energetic flow. MBS Thought Retraining integrates the basic premises found in inner-child/unconscious mind refocusing (John Bradshaw), mindfulness and deliberate creation (Jon Kabat-Zinn, et al), positive psychology (Martin Seligman, et al), and psycho-cybernetics (Maxwell Maltz) with the fundamentals of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) (Dr. Robert Ader). MBS Thought Retraining creates new neural networks of belief in the brain that eliminate negative habits, negative thought, and destructive behaviors. Most individuals begin to see lasting results within 21 days. 
Hypno Imagery© (see a detailed explanation of this modality in the 'Library' section)
Individual and group Life Coaching Classes in Self-Hypnosis Monthly community talks on holistic and integrative topics © Copyright 2011 Dr. Janolyn F. Moore, PhD. All rights reserved.
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